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Norfolk participant: “Well, usually when something urgent, or, or an emergency comes up, it's usually
when I'm broke, you know? It never happens when I first get a paycheck, it seems to go on in the middle
of the month, or towards the end of the month when I'm waiting to get paid.”
Norfolk participant: “Well, it's a lot of people that get...when they get paid, they don't have enough money
to last them the whole month.”
Norfolk participant: “Okay, perfect example. I had a cousin that passed away not too long ago in New
Jersey, wanted to go to the funeral, but because it happened the week before I got my check, I had a
decision to make. Was I going to go to the funeral, or pay the bills that I have to pay. And if I paid...if I go
to the funeral, then the next following month, I may have to double up on the bills that I had that I normally
pay. So it's kind of a either/or 99% of the time.”
Topic: Family obligations
Theme: Familial obligations influence most decision making when young children are involved
Perceived obligations to family override many other concerns. Participants with younger children are particularly
affected.
Chesapeake participant: “Family obligations always come first and my wants and needs usually don't
happen. Maybe when my kids are grown, I can realize who I am again.”
Topic: Being a caregiver to someone with special needs
Theme: Being a caregiver to a child with special needs is especially taxing
Chesapeake participant: “I used to work with kids with special needs and it takes a special kind of person
because it's not for everybody, takes a lot of patience and love and dedication. You really have to care
about the people that you're working for and that you're working with. And just know, you know,
sometimes it gets heavy because a lot of times those people don't have other people, you are their family.
So sometimes when you lose those people, it gets heavy and it's not for the faint of heart. I'll say that.
Norfolk participant: “My son was ADHD and bipolar and it was terrible because the schools wanted me to
put him on Ritalin, but he was losing so much weight he looked like a skeleton with skin on him. You
know, we went through some trials and tribulations. But he needed awake 24-hour care in a lot of his life
'cause of the medications weren't working. And I wasn't able to give it, so he had to go in residential
programs, you know? And it put a real strain on our relationship. And it didn't really help him because the
places he was at there were other kids with more serious things.”
Theme: Individuals take on unexpected roles later in life as they and their families age
Norfolk participant: “I take care of my brother, he had two strokes. He didn't have any place to stay, so I
had to bring him in, it's the only way I could watch him.”
Norfolk participant: “My wife can't do a lot of the things that she used to be able to do. So, a lot of the
cooking and a lot of the cleaning and stuff like that I have to do. But sometimes, you know, it's not easy
being...I mean, yeah, you need to take time for yourself, so that you can recharge and stuff like that, but
that's not always easy, you know?”
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