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Conflict • Rude • Mean • Bullying
QUALIFIERS
CONFLICT
RUDE
MEAN
BULLYING
Frequency
Occasional
Occasional
Once or Twice
Is REPEATED
Intent
Not planned/in the
heat of the moment
Spontaneous/
often unintentional
behavior
Intentional behavior
Is often planned and
done on purpose
Who is hurt?
All parties are upset
Can upset and cause
hurt feelings
Can hurt others
deeply
Can cause serious,
life-long emotional
damage
Cause
All parties want to
work it out
Often based in
thoughtlessness or
poor manners
Ofter based in
anger; impulsive
cruelty
The bully is trying
to gain power or
control over the
target
Taking
Responsibility
All parties will
accept responsibility
Rude person should
accept responsibility
Behavior is often
regretted
The bully often
blames the target
Who wants
resolution?
An effort is made by
all parties to solve
the problem
Apology
Apology is often
sufficient
The target wants the
bully’s behavior to
stop
Resolution
Can usually be
resolved through
mediation
Social skill building
could be of benefit
Needs to be
addressed/should
not be ignored
Cannot be resolved
through mediation,
should be reported
(Source: Adapted from Jennifer Astles, DASA Newsletter, January 2014, TST BOCES
and modified by the Newport News Public Schools, Student Conduct & Discipline)
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